To Give Up or Not To Give Up...that is the question?

I've been on a hillside, sliding further and further down and I think I am pretty close to the bottom now. I wonder what it looks like down there? Sharp pieces of glass and barbed wire? Uhh...but what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger, right?
I still go to the open air bath once a week. It's the only place where I can let go of every single thought that bounces up and down in my weary head. It's too hot in the sauna to think of problems and once you're in the water it's too cold, so that way you keep yourself occupied from everything and when you leave, you leave with the feeling that there acctually are no problems in the world.

Yesterday I was so tired all day I just felt like going to bed again. Went up at 7 to fix some stuff and I never quite woke up, I was more like a zombie than a human. But me and Sara took a walk down town and I bought some well needed underwear and other boring stuff. I hate buying those things that you just have to have - such as underwear and shampoo. It was supposed to be a big storm here yesterday, but I think the talk about it was actually bigger than the storm itself. It was a little windy on and off as we walked through Malmö, down to Drottningtorget (the Queens square) where there is this Italian café/ice bar and we bought ourselves a Forza which is a mix of different fruits and vegetables and chilipepper. Drank it and immediately felt like life returned a bit. Got back home, realized I had missed out on an interview I was supposed to do with some American music magazine or site. Hope they'll call again...

We went out with some friends ( David, David, Peter and Hanna) at our new place - well, we're planning on making it "our place" to hang out ther like once a week. I've known David and David for 15 years - ever since we were 17 or 18 and we always have a great time when we get together. Yesterday was no different. We were joined by this couple who came in and looked really lost, so we kind of, accidentily invited them over to our table. I don't think it was on purpose and at first I thought they would be the drunk old couple who starts screaming and babbling, but they were not. Göran,63, truckdriver talked a lot about his years on the roads in Germany and the rest of Europe. He wasn't stupid or too drunk, he just wanted to sit down and have a chat and he kept saying "it was so cool to talk with you guys. So cool. Imagine how much fun I could have had if I was 30 years younger..."
His wife Solle, went home early. She was tired.

Im tired too. I am really fucking tired.
I have all these great songs that I want to record but it never seems to happen.
Sara has found a new band over the internet. Well I don't know if they´re new but they are new to us. They´re called "
Headlights" and this is one of the best bands I have heard in a loong time.

Simple Mathematics

I just put up a new song on my MySpace, it´s called "Simple Mathematics" and it´s really just a raw sketch. Nonetheless I decided to put it up for listening just to remind you I´m still around. So - go there and listen and see what you think of it.

5 Years

Today me and Sara are celebrating 5 years together. I can´t believe it´s been that long and at the same time I feel like I´ve known her all my life. In a good way, that is. We´ve had so much fun together and we´ve gone trhough many hard periods. People have died and people have kept on living. We´ve been at funerals and weddings and one baptism. We´ve played at festivals and small clubs together. We´ve laughed and cried, loved and fought and it´s still just as good and fun as it has ever been.

Now we´re going out to see if we can sell some CDs (not our own...) and get some money to maybe go out for a romantic dinner.

Finally A T-shirt!

After a long time waiting, there are now Amaterasu/David Fridlund t-shirts up for sale! Just go HERE
 click on PRODUCTS and get one now!
This is what they look like:


And yes - you see how happy those t-shirts have made the models wearing them ;-) !

It's Sunday  and I woke up thinking I didn't want to get out of bed today. Too many financial worries in the back of my mind.

It was really windy tonight and I woke up around 4 thinking that big tree in the yard would snap and come crashing through the window. It didn't and I went back to sleep. I dreamt we were going on tour with David & the Citizens and we had just played a club somewhere in Germany and were heading to this big festival. Outside the venue there was a nightliner and Foo Fighters were in it. We started talking and it turned out they were going to the same festival as us and they offered us to go with them on their giant bus. We thought it would be a great experience and happily accepted. They had rodies packing all our equipment on the bus, but not everything fitted, so they started tying some of the stuff outside the bus. Some things were even secured only with scotch tape. I don't know how that all ended up, because the dream suddenly ended when the wind was exceptionally loud outside.

Well. I'm up and about now and will have a third cup of coffee to see if this gray windy day might develope into something better.

Svensk Musiker (utan förbund)

För två och ett halvt år sedan blev jag medlem i SMF (svenska musikerförbundet). Jag blev medlem av två viktiga anledningar.
1. Jag behövde proffesionell hjälp och rådgivning med ett förlagsavtal.
2. Jag ville kunna få A-kassa genom att vara musiker.
Jag tänkte att om jag ändå spelar och skriver och sliter såhär mycket med att vara musiker så borde det kunna hjälpa mig i tider när jag inte spelade så mycket. Ok. Jag ringde deras medlemsservice och fick information om villkoren för att få vara medlem och för att kunna uppbära A-kassa. Jag var ganska tjatig och frågade flera gånger om vad som gällde och fick förklarat för mig hur det funkade, vilken kategori jag skulle tillhöra och att jag sedan skulle ha rätt till A-kassa så fort jag hade varit medlem en viss tid och betalat och uppfylld de där villkoren. Jättebra. Blev medlem. Började betala 240kr/mån. Pengar jag inte har råd med egentligen, men jag tänkte att jag kommer tjäna på det i slutändan så jag fortsatte betala. I två och ett halvt år.

 För två veckor sedan mailade jag till SMF och undrade hur jag skulle göra för att få ut den där efterlängtade och välbehövda (och välförtjänta) A-kasse-ersättningen nu när jag varit medlem så länge och hade så mycket spelningar och utgivna skivor bakom mig. Jag trodde jag var home safe men möttes av beskedet att jag betalat i fel kategori. Det är klass 1 som ger rätt till A-kassa. Inte klass 2. Shit! Inte bra,
tänkte jag. Men eftersom det är "förbundet" som gett mig fel information så borde det ju vara "förbundet" som reder ut det. Kunde man kanske tro, men så jävla enkelt ska det inte vara. Nej - efter flera försök via mail och telefon att få dem att förstå vad som hänt, samt (i en drömvärld) erkänna sitt misstag och ge mig rätt så har jag fattat att det aldrig kommer att hända. Jag är ingen stjärna, inte världens smartaste kille, men jag är fan inte dum i huvudet och hade jag fått rätt info så hade jag hamnat i rätt kategori och kanske fått A-kassa i detta nu. Istället får det bli knäckebröd ett tag till.

Det som på papperet låter så bra - Svenska Musikerförbundet (jag kände mig faktiskt lite stolt över att vara medlem och ha ett medlemskort och allt....) känns mer som en bubbla. Men de erbjuder andra bra saker, t.ex. kan man köpa en sk. carnét, ett slags pass för att få ta in musikinstrument till t.ex. Norge om man skall dit och spela. Det är bara det att det är ju fan ingen gränskontroll att tala om när man kör in i Norge, så vem behöver en carnét? Jag känner iallafall inga band som brytt sig om det. Vidare får man som medlem en tidning typ en gång i månaden, som måste vara sveriges tråkigaste och taffligaste tidning. Möjligtvis med undantag för STIM nytt som man också får när man är musiker och som betraktas som något av ett skämt bland musiker.

Min slutsats är: gå inte med i Musikerförbundet för de vill bara ha dina pengar. Men så är det väl med de flesta fackförbunden? Jag har flera vänner som har samma uppfattning.  

Är det någon annan som har några synpunkter?