To Give Up or Not To Give Up...that is the question?
I still go to the open air bath once a week. It's the only place where I can let go of every single thought that bounces up and down in my weary head. It's too hot in the sauna to think of problems and once you're in the water it's too cold, so that way you keep yourself occupied from everything and when you leave, you leave with the feeling that there acctually are no problems in the world.
Yesterday I was so tired all day I just felt like going to bed again. Went up at 7 to fix some stuff and I never quite woke up, I was more like a zombie than a human. But me and Sara took a walk down town and I bought some well needed underwear and other boring stuff. I hate buying those things that you just have to have - such as underwear and shampoo. It was supposed to be a big storm here yesterday, but I think the talk about it was actually bigger than the storm itself. It was a little windy on and off as we walked through Malmö, down to Drottningtorget (the Queens square) where there is this Italian café/ice bar and we bought ourselves a Forza which is a mix of different fruits and vegetables and chilipepper. Drank it and immediately felt like life returned a bit. Got back home, realized I had missed out on an interview I was supposed to do with some American music magazine or site. Hope they'll call again...
We went out with some friends ( David, David, Peter and Hanna) at our new place - well, we're planning on making it "our place" to hang out ther like once a week. I've known David and David for 15 years - ever since we were 17 or 18 and we always have a great time when we get together. Yesterday was no different. We were joined by this couple who came in and looked really lost, so we kind of, accidentily invited them over to our table. I don't think it was on purpose and at first I thought they would be the drunk old couple who starts screaming and babbling, but they were not. Göran,63, truckdriver talked a lot about his years on the roads in Germany and the rest of Europe. He wasn't stupid or too drunk, he just wanted to sit down and have a chat and he kept saying "it was so cool to talk with you guys. So cool. Imagine how much fun I could have had if I was 30 years younger..."
His wife Solle, went home early. She was tired.
Im tired too. I am really fucking tired.
I have all these great songs that I want to record but it never seems to happen.
Sara has found a new band over the internet. Well I don't know if they´re new but they are new to us. They´re called "Headlights" and this is one of the best bands I have heard in a loong time.
Pull a smile inside and think that the only thing that matters in the end are the people around you who ACTUALLY care about you, your life and your whereabouts - that you make a difference in their lives as well as they do in yours. In the end things are in fact plain simple - either they work or they don't. I don't live as I learn - I know that but I do try to. It's always easier to help people close to you than to help yourself...
I love you.
(Switching to english mode). If I can pull you up just one inch on your downhill slide by telling you that I think you're a great artist and a truly nice guy, I will be happy. Hang in there David.
That's a lot of Davids in one place.
I Stockholm är det snö, därför relativt tyst. Skönt. Det är fint att vara här i bunkern. Lyssnar på skivan jag fick av dig, gillar ert nya dansbandssound!
Hoppas dig det bästa